My Toxic Relationship with Writing
by Amy Hsuan Chiu, Author of Reborn
We live in a world that is constantly throwing information at us. Pause and ask yourself: do I still have the ability to analyze and criticize what is right and wrong? Is there even a right and wrong anymore?
I’m talking about media literacy, meaning one’s ability to access, analyze, evaluate, create, and act using all forms of communication. Many content creators have also dived deeper into this topic and the responses from different generations.
As a writer traditionally trained in English Literature and theories, it is frustrating and challenging to see the changes in what’s being shared and liked across all platforms.
When did you last read material written on a physical paper or in a book from your nearby library? The time has changed, and I understand that. With the convenience of technology and AI coming up, we now have access to information online with a few clicks away. I worry that comfort brings out the impatient version of humans; as our attention span gets shorter, we demand “everything” we want, delivered right now.
I remember attending an all-English major seminar towards the end of my Creative Writing program a few years ago. The English professor, who has been teaching for over 15 years, asked us to discuss the poems we see online these days. Are they new modern poetry? What are their values compared to more extended format literature back then?
My group comprised creative writers and novelists curious to read some online poetry. They were open-minded towards the poems that tell you exactly what the rest of the poem will be about in the first line, but as we dived deeper, none of us followed those writing accounts that have 120K followers.
We shared our observations and learned many new internet poets write what’s on their minds in the exact words. The traditional “show, don’t tell” seems forgotten in many two-line poems posted with an aesthetic background on Instagram.
So, as long as the post looks and sounds pretty, people will like, comment, and tag their friends, correct? Is this what the content has evolved into?
I couldn’t help but feel a sense of sorrow, like my heart had just sunk. Many so-called “deeper meaning” and multi-layered writing require extended word counts, and longer processing times are not shared online or talked about anymore. Many poems not about love, hate, body, or gender can be just as good. Yes, the previously mentioned topics are all wonderful themes, but I see so much repetitiveness in popular posts today, and I am no longer sure if I want to be a part of the community.
Not because I don’t fit in; I never wanted to. It is also not because of jealousy of how well those shorter poems perform.
It is about protecting and maintaining a clean, peaceful space for my polished thoughts.
“People don’t have time to read everything. Not everyone is into Literature.” I convinced myself. We are facing the ultimate loneliness in today’s world. I thought music, theater, and poetry would still save souls like they did back then. As a writer who loves ink and paper, I have many internal conflicts to resolve before making another character’s life miserable in the novel.
I guess I am chasing the highest form of luxury — to write freely without anyone’s approval, not caring about social acceptance, likes, numbers of followers, opportunities to get published, views to get sponsors, just writing for the sake of writing, document a piece of myself, leaving a part of me with this world.
I also tell myself to stop romanticizing every pain. But every time I feel pain, writing saves me out of it. It’s like a toxic circle when writing becomes a part of the pain, tangled up with pieces of me. Am I in an abusive relationship with writing? I need it, and it controls me; it’s terrible, but I tell people it’s good for me.
“The world is not all about you.” Writers indeed talk to themselves a lot.
We live in a time when we advertise confidence, independence, and unique traits and often forget they can co-exist with acceptance and relying on another soul.
I wish you a good night’s sleep. Midnight O2 will be back soon.
#amyhsuanchiu #midnighto2 #rebornpoetry
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About Amy
Insta: @ahcpoetry
More: https://linktr.ee/ahcpoetry
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